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A silver Cuban link chain draped her neck, fuzzy slippers hugged her feet, her makeup precisely applied and nary a hair out of place — the embodiment of smooth.

Some pestos throughout Italy also lean more toward a romesco-style sauce, using tomatoes or roasted peppers with nary a green in sight.

Follow award-winning food writer Andrews and chef-proprietor Clark as they start at the latter’s Dad’s Luncheonette in Half Moon Bay and wind up in Ventura County, missing nary a delicious stop along the way.

They waved Mexican flags and Salvadoran and Venezuelan ones, with nary an Old Glory in sight.

Instead, the backing track squawked for a second and then dead air filled the room, with nary a patriotic chord to be heard.